Till the End of Time
by Butterfly Betty
Summary: A drabble fic. Remember when life was simple. Just you and me, a smile and a laugh. Back before life went to hell, and my heart shriveled up, dying a slow painful death. The story of Edward and Bella.
1. Chapter 1

Remember when life was simple. Just you and me, a smile and a laugh. Back before life went to hell, and my heart shriveled up, dying a slow painful death.

The moment I saw you sitting across the room from me, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, a beautiful blush creeping up your cheeks. My heart belonged to you in that moment, I just didn't want to admit to you. Or to myself.

For months I watched you laughing with your friends, telling jokes. Never once did I see a you frown, cry, or get upset. I envied you for the way you were always able to see the bright side of a problem, find the positive.

Everyone around us dissipated into nowhere, leaving just you and me. In those few moments, I memorized every detail of your face. The delicate shape of your chin. The simple way you look at someone when they speak to you, giving them every ounce of your attention. I often wished I'd been brave enough to come over and talk to you. It wasn't until you stood up to leave that I found myself on my feet, chasing after you, but before I could reach you, you were gone. I was alone. Always alone.

Then one day, on your way out, you stopped short, turning back and running into me. Dropping your bag on the floor, everything spilled out. Kneeling down at the same time, we hit our heads, groaning, before looking at each other. A beautiful, breathtaking smile spread over your face, and I found myself lost in your amazingly deep brown eyes.

"Sorry," you laughed. "I'm such a Klutz."

"My fault," I insisted, gathering the contents from her bag. "A pez dispenser, a worn copy of Romeo and Juliet, and a pack of cards," I mused. "Interesting."

"A girls gotta be prepared," she giggled, holding her bag open so I could drop them inside, which I did. Standing up, I held out a hand, helping her to her feet. "Thanks. I'm Bella, by the way."

"You're welcome, Bella." I smiled. "I'm Edward."

**This is my new drabble fic. Short chapters between say 500- 1000 words or so. Updating once a day, I hope. I hope you enjoy:)**


	2. Chapter 2

A heartbeat later, you were gone, and I was left standing there all alone. If I had only known how much that one moment would effect the rest of my life. I'd never been one of those guys who saw the perfect girl and just knew. Not until I saw you, anyway.

After you left me standing in the doorway, I went home, back to my mundane existence and mindless routine. Cook dinner, eat over the sink, wash the one dish I used, repeat as necessary. I turned on the television simply to have some background noise. All I heard, though, was your tinkling laughter wafting across the room, attacking my senses. I don't even know what was so funny, but I found myself laying across my sofa, laughing with you.

The next day, I woke up feeling excited and eager to leave. In my rush to get one more glance of you, I ended up locking myself out of my apartment, and my car. It took almost an hour to get someone out who could let me back into my apartment to get my keys. I finally made it in, just to watch the red taillights of your car pulling out of the parking lot. It was not my lucky day.

Over the next couple of weeks, I hardly saw you at all. Seems like everyday there was someone, or something, that needed my attention. They never had it, my focus was always on you. Fate finally smiled down on me when I walked out of the building and saw you crouching down next to your back tire.

I tried not to smile, or laugh when you let out a muttered, "Fuck." But hearing such a word trickling between your lips sounded off, and unnatural.

"Everything okay, Bella?" You jumped, startled by the sound of my voice. A small squeak escaped you, and I smiled wider. You were beautiful. "Sorry."

"Don't be," you replied, waving me off. "I wasn't paying much attention."

"I could tell," I chuckled, squatting down next to you. Reaching out, I ran my hand over your tire. "Do you have a spare?"

"Um, no." You blushed. I melted on the inside.

"No?" I questioned.

You shook your head, letting your dark hair fall over your shoulder. "It took up too much room in the trunk." I sat there, staring at you. "I needed the room for my shopping, and I forgot to put it back in."

"Oh, okay," I laughed, turning back to the car. "Have you called anyone?"

"Triple A, but there is a huge wreck on the Interstate, and they said it would be at least five hours before they can get here." You huffed, showing your frustration

Smiling, I stood up and held my hand out to you. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

"You don't have to," you mumbled.

"I want to, Bella," I insisted, and, God, did I ever want to.

"Okay, but on one condition," you agreed, taking my hand. "Let me cook you dinner."

"Deal."

That was just the beginning for us. I did drive you home, and you did make me dinner. We ended up sitting on your patio all night talking about everything and nothing. When you walked me to your door in the early morning hours, you leaned up on your toes, pressing a sweet, gentle kiss to my cheek. I fell more in love with you.

**Thank you for all the reviews to the first chapter. In case you didn't pick up on it, our story will be told almost like a journal entry, completely from Edward's point of view.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Where are you taking me?" you asked, reaching out and stroking my arm. I shivered from the contact. You didn't notice.

"It's a surprise," I smirked. You pretended to be upset, but I know you. You loved surprises.

When we reached our destination, your eyes flew open, joy and happiness pouring off you. You could hardly contain your excitement when I took your hand, helping you out of the car. I expected you to let go of my hand. You didn't. I smiled bigger.

I wrapped my fingers around your soft, ivory skin, relishing in the feel of your hand in mine. Your smile grew with each step we took, your eyes gleaming as you took everything in. I watched as your lips parted and a single word slipped out, "Breathtaking."

With a subtle nod, I agreed, you were breathtaking.

When you caught me staring at you, your cheeks pinked and you pulled your lip between your teeth. Reaching over, I tugged it out, before brushing my fingers across the tainted skin. I wanted kiss you, right then and there. I almost did. Maybe I should have. But I didn't. One of many regrets I have when it came to you and me.

With a gentle tug on your hand, I led you through through the park, finding the perfect place for us to sit. You gasped when you saw the blanket already on the ground. Tucking your feet under you, you leaned against me as the sun lowered in the sky, and the stars began to shimmer. The symphony started to play, but my attention was solely on you. Like always.

"They're incredible," you whispered, brushing a tear off your cheek.

"My mom used to bring here," I explained. "We'd sit right here, and she's let me sit in her lap while we lost ourselves in the music."

"Your mom sounds like quite the lady." You smiled, not noticing the heavy tears swimming in my eyes.

"She was," I agreed, leaving it at that.

As the symphony began playing once again, I stood up, offering you my hand. Placing yours in mine, you allowed me to help you to your feet, giggling when I nestled you close to my body. Slowly, we allowed our bodies to move together. It didn't matter that there were hundreds of people around us, all that mattered was that for one moment, I got to hold you in my arms.

"Edward," you breathed, laying your head on my chest. "Promise me this isn't a dream."

"It's not," I lied, unsure if I was dreaming or not.

We stayed wrapped in our bubble until the concert ended and I dropped you back to your apartment. Walking you to the door, you leaned up and pressed a kiss on my cheek, this time edging a little closer to my lips. With an airy gasp, you murmured, "Goodnight and sweet dreams."

"Only if I dream of you," I whispered, meaning every word.

After that day, everything changed, yet everything stayed the same. You and I spent more time together. Mostly talking, but a few times, we found ourselves just enjoying the silence around us. Do you remember when being in a quiet room was the best feeling in the world?

I hate the quiet now.

**Thank you for the reviews, I appreciate each of them. Now, I've had a few people ask about a HEA, and this is what I have to say, it all depends on your definition of what that makes. I hope you'll stick through the journey with me, though. Also, Bella and Edward are in the lower-twenties at this point.**


	4. Chapter 4

You once asked me what made me fall in love with you.

"_Your ass," I teased at the time_. But I lied.

Your eyes. I fell in love with your eyes. You told so much with your eyes.

The crinkle when you smiled, the shimmer when you laughed so hard you had tears. _"He stood there wearing his Batman underwear, a cape tied around his neck, and nothing else on, Edward," you giggled. "He was only five, but the ladies at church didn't find it nearly as funny as we did."_

The gleam when you teased. _"Catch me if you can," you purred, before running into our bedroom. _But mostly, it's the honesty in your eyes that I loved the most. You could never hide how you felt, whether you were happy or sad, angry or frustrated.

You're laid across the sofa in my apartment, feet propped up on the back, book leaning against your legs. Those sexy, librarian glasses you needed for reading rested on the tip of your nose. You hated those thick, black frames, but I loved them.

While you were immersed in your reading, I was studying you. Laying in the opposite direction, I watched while you pulled your lip in between your teeth. You're forehead would scrunch up when you were concentrating on a particularly grueling scene. Every emotion written dancing across your face. Reaching up, you tried to discretely wipe a tear off your cheek, but I always saw.

"Are you going to keep staring at me?" You asked, a sly smile creeping over your lips.

"For as long as I can," I chuckled, but looked away, feeling embarrassed.

Letting your book drop onto the floor, you swung your legs around and moved so that you were laying on top of me. I stifled my moan, grabbing your hips, wanting to feel you. Needing to feel you. I gazed upon your beauty, from your dark, soulful eyes, to your perfect pink lips. Running my fingers across your cheek, your smile grew, you blushed for me. Only for me. Leaning up, I brushed your lips with mine.

In that one simple moment, the stars aligned and everything was perfect.

**Thank you for all the reviews:) When reading this, think of these chapters as Edward's reflection over his life with Bella. There will be joy, but also regret. Don't we all have moments in our lives we regret?**


	5. Chapter 5

I found it hard to open up about my life before you. You never pressured me for information. Maybe you could tell it was hard for me to talk about. It's not that my life story was one of those tragic tales that you read about in the newspaper, or saw on CNN. No, I had a good life, until in one sudden flash, it was all taken away from me.

My mom and dad loved me. They treated me good, taught me to be a man. A house full of love, laughter, and smiles. My dad taught me how to ride a bike. "Keep pedaling, son!"

He showed me how to throw a baseball. "Snap your wrist a little more, and you'll have it dead center."

Or how to beat that little shit down the street when he bad talked my mom. "Make sure you keep your arms up in case that little bastard hits back, but we take care of our own, Edward." She wasn't happy with either of us. He taught me how to love a woman; to respect her and to always remember to tell her I loved her, "Women should be cherished, son. They are God's gift to us."

Mom taught me how to iron, to do laundry, to cook. She'd pat me on the back and say, "A man's job is to take care of his family, Edward, not to let his wife do it all."

I took those words to heart. I hoped I lived those words for you. Mom taught me to read, that knowledge was the best gift I could give myself, "You want adventures, don't you, darling boy? Reading takes you on a million different adventures."

When I struggled to learn fractions, she made me apple pie and explained them. A la mode, of course. "What's apple pie without a side of vanilla ice cream?"

The night I finally broke down and told you everything was another turning point for us, I think. It'd been raining hard for hours, the drops splattering against the windows in my apartment. The only light in the room came when the lightening flashed. You looked beautiful. We laid on my bed; me running my fingers through your long dark hair, you snaking your hand up around my neck. How did you always know just how to touch me?

I don't remember making the decision to tell you. Just felt my lips parting and the words tumbling out. I'd barely been able to comprehend what it meant when the two uniformed officers uttered, "There's been an accident."

Fifteen years old and alone.

You nestled into my embrace, whispering, "It's okay."

I had you, everything was perfect.

**Thank you for the sweet reviews, and for hanging in here with me:)**


	6. Chapter 6

You didn't have any problem talking about your family. Your face lit up every time you talked about how your mom would burn dinner. "I mean, the woman can't even boil water without me there to help her."

Or about how your dad taught you how to defend yourself against boys. "Make you when you go for the nuts, you make him feel it for days, that's what he always told me." A lesson I'm thankful you never had to perform on me, baby.

But it was your brother that meant the most to you. "He never got tired of having his bratty sister hanging around all the time," you'd exclaimed, laughing. "Even when I was bugging the shit out of him."

I'll be the first to admit that I was reluctant to meet him. Part of me was scared to death that he'd tell you I wasn't good enough for you, and you'd finally see he was right. But all you had to do was look up at me from under your lashes, cheeks heating up, and whisper, "He's important to me."

I'd never tell you no, baby. So I took the chance. You were nearly vibrating with excitement as you pulled me through the crowded restaurant toward the table in the back. There he sat, one arm resting on the back of the chair next to him, leg crossed, and a smirk covering his lips. You released my hand and ran up to him, jumping in his arms. He twirled you around, making you laugh harder than I'd ever heard you.

I'd never felt more out of place.

It wasn't until he put you back on your feet and cleared his throat that you remembered I was standing there. Your cheeks darkened even more when you came back over to me, slipping your tiny hand into my large one. With a smile on your face, you murmured, "Edward, this is Carlisle."

With a chuckle, he offered me his hand. "Nice to finally meet the boy who's captured my baby sister's heart."

Before I could respond, you cross back over to him, punching him the arm. He flinched. My eyes flew open. "Damn it, Carlisle, you jerk," you grumbled, trying to hide the embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. "I told you he's important to me."

"Sorry," he muttered, but I don't think he really was. "It really is nice to meet you, though."

It took me a moment to be able to put mine in his. "Yeah, you too."

I never told you this before, but I envied the two of you. Maybe it was the fact that I was an only child, but watching the way you two teased each other, laughing so hard you'd nearly fall out of your chair. Not everyone had that kind of relationship with their brother, but you'd never been like everyone, baby. You were always the exception.

**Thank you for all the reviews:)**


	7. Chapter 7h

Remember that night we spent on the roof of your building waiting for the meteor shower to start? It was cold, but you refused to let me take you inside. You laughed, "I don't want to miss them."

We had a least a dozen blankets over us, a small fire cackled in a pit that barely managed to produce any heat. With a smile, you told me, "So long as I'm in your arms, baby, I didn't need anything else."

The glow from the small flames washed over you, making you even more beautiful. You looked up at me from under your lashes, eyes full of hope and longing. For the briefest of moments, I wondered if you needed me as much as I needed you. It wasn't possible. I craved you, finding myself lost in every breath you took, every word you spoke, or didn't speak.

How'd I ever lived without you, baby? I look back at my life before I found you, and I don't recognize the person I'd been. I don't want to, either.

Somehow I'd managed to get through one day after another. I mourned the loss of my perfect family, but never let it drag me down. I just learned to guard my heart against those who reached out to me, I guess. With everyone, but you. I couldn't hide anything from you. You saw through my bullshit, calling me on it every time.

As the first meteor slipped through the heavens, you lifted your dark, mesmerizing eyes back up to mine. I brought my hand up to your cheek, stroking your soft, alabaster skin, feeling my heart racing. Leaning down, with the falling sky around us, I kissed you once. Letting a shaky breath out, I whispered against your soft lips, "I love you."

It took me a moment to realize that I'd actually spoken those words out loud. I expected you to laugh at me, push me away, or tell me that it was too soon. But instead, you slid your hand up to the nape of my neck and gave me a beautiful smile. "I love you, too."

I hadn't heard someone tell me they loved me in years. Not since my parents died. Hearing those four little words coming from you, baby, made me the happiest man.

We made love that night, right there under the stars. Stripping off our clothes, we allowed our bodies, our lips, our hands, to say what our voices had just moments before. Becoming one with you, feeling your wrapped around my body, caused everything else to disappear. Clinging to you, I surrendered my soul to you, giving you ever ounce of myself. You were worth it all.

**Thank you for the reviews:)**


	8. Chapter 8

Someone once asked me what was the defining moment of my life. With a smile, I shook my head, saying, "I can't pick just one."

And I couldn't. There were thousands of moments that made me the man I am today. Before I saw you sitting across the room, I would have said it was the death of my parents, graduating high school and college, getting my first job, or something equally mundane. Each of those moments did leave a lasting impression on me, etching out a place in the story of my life, but none of them compared to the man I became because of you.

You gave me the strength to let go of the past and move on from my parents' death. The courage to put myself out there and meet people, like your friends. Sitting down at dinner with Emmett and Jasper was intimidating, but because you held my hand, giving me the confidence to be myself. I ended up with brothers.

Just like the small moments made me who I am, they made you the woman I fell in love with. Your compassion for life, the way you always saw the best in everything, in everyone...Baby, I wanted to make you proud of me. You wore your emotions on your sleeve. Like when you would see one of those sappy Lifetime movies that made you cry. I remember asking you once why you always watched them when you knew they'd make you emotional.

You curled up to my side, sniffing back the last few remaining tears. "Because they give me hope that life can really have a happy ending."

At the time I didn't think much about it, the simple meaning behind each word, but now, after a lifetime together, I understand.

**Thank you for all the reviews:)**


	9. Chapter 9

Picking out the worst moments of my life would've been much easier to do. The day my parents passed away would be close to the top, but there were so many others. My first birthday with nobody there to wish me a happy day, or blow out any candles. Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, none of them ever meant the same to me, until you.

We'd been together for four months when my birthday came around again. I tried to hide it from you, but you, being able to get anything out of me with one look, wouldn't let it go. Straddling my hips late one night, you leaned down to my ear, whispering, "Baby, let me make this one a day you'll never forget."

Like always, I couldn't deny you anything. Flipping you over to your back, I murmured, "Yes," and slipped myself into you.

When my birthday came around, I begged you for details, pleading with you to give me something, anything that would tell me where we were going, but you smiled, shaking your head. "It's a surprise," you purred. "Just promise me that you will try to have fun, and smile. I love your smile, baby."

Nothing compared to your smile, baby, and if letting you surprise me, made you smile, then it was worth every minute.

I'm not sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn't you telling me to wear my pajamas. Laughing as you ran your fingers through my hair, you sighed. "Don't think we can do anything with this. Besides, I like that fresh, out-of-bed look you have going on."

Adorning a pair red Snoopy pajama pants and a black t-shirt with a picture of a drill with the caption reading, 'Remain calm, it's only a drill', you took my hand, leading me out of my apartment, and up to the roof. I couldn't believe what I saw when we stepped through the door. You'd transformed my roof into a private little movie theater.

Two chaise loungers, covered in several blankets and pillows, were set up in front of the wall to the storage unit, where a large white sheet hung. Dragging me over, you pushed me onto one of them, covering my legs with a blanket. Picking up a remote off a small table, you settled down next to me, snuggling up to me. With a click, you started the small projector. Flickering on the screen were images of my parents and I.

"Edward," laughed my dad, chasing me through the yard, "I'm gonna get you!"

"No, Daddy," I squealed, running harder. My father scooped me up into his arms, kissing my cheek. "Gross, Daddy, you're supposed to kiss Mommy."

"Oh, sorry, buddy," he snickered, carrying me closer to the camera. It dropped, showing him pulling my mother into his arms and kissing her.

Th film turned black, only to begin playing again a moment later. Bringing my hand up to cover my mouth, I fought the tears threatening to fall. "How?" I choked out.

"I called your aunt," you whispered, placing your hand over my heart. "She sent them to me, and Jasper helped me convert them all to a DVD. Are you mad?"

Shaking my head, I felt my tears sprinkle down my cheeks. "No," I whimpered. "Thank you, baby."

"Happy birthday, Edward." You smiled, leaning up and kissing me.

We spent the rest of the night on the rooftop, watching my old family movies. We laughed, we cried. As you sighed, snuggling deeper onto my chest, the sound of my parents reverberating around us, I knew that I wanted to spend everyday of forever with you.


	10. Chapter 10

I wanted everything to be perfect for you, a night you'd never forget. It took me weeks to find the right ring, a pear-shared solitaire resting on a white platinum band. To some, it may have seemed simple, but you were breathtaking enough, the ring would only embellish your natural beauty. Cheesy, I know, but that doesn't make it a lie.

Pacing in front of your apartment door, I tried to stifle my nerves, but it was useless. I'd spent too many years alone, barely living. The thought of losing you...gutted me, baby. I needed you like I needed air to breathe.

Before I could knock, you swung the door open, smiling. You always smiled, baby. No matter how hard everything got, you'd smile and, for at least those few moments, everything seemed perfect. Reaching out, I took your hand, lifting it up to my lips. It was all I could do not to drop down to one knee, right then and there, begging you to be always be mine. But you deserved perfection.

Instead, I wrapped your hand around my arm, leading you out of your apartment. My legs shook as we walked over to the stairs, taking them up to the roof. You gasped in surprise. Twinkling candle light filled the air, the sweet fragrance of dozens of freesias wafting through the air, a small table sitting on the middle. Soft, sensual music played over the sounds system I'd installed, creating a wonderland for you, baby. Everything was for you.

Turning, you looked at me. "It's incredible," you murmured, blinking back your tears.

I agreed, you were incredible.

Leading you over to the table, I pulled out your chair, trying to be the gentleman my mother raised me to be. Settling in my seat, we enjoyed our dinner, commenting on how nice the weather has been, work, and family. With every word you spoke, I found myself lost in the way your lips moved. I'd never get tired of hearing you.

"Baby, are you okay?" you wondered, reaching over and covering my hand.

I smiled, trying to figure out just how to tell you everything I felt in my heart. "Dance with me," I murmured, wrapping my fingers around yours.

"Okay," you breathed.

Standing up, I nestled you against me, holding you as close as possible. My heart raced wildly. I was sure you'd be able to feel it. Sliding my arm around your waist, I pressed my lips against your neck, moving upward to your ear. You shivered against me, murmuring, "Edward."

"Baby, I love you," I whispered, my words laced with my emotions. "Before I found you, I was so lost."

"Oh, Edward," you whimpered, soothing me. "So was I."

"Marry me, Bella," I begged, leaning my forehead against yours. "I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms. I want to watch your belly grow round with our children, to hold your hand while you bring them into this world. I want to grow old with you. Baby, please, be my wife?"

Slipping your ring out of my pocket, I opened the small velvet box. Your eyes flew open as you took in the ring. Raising your hand, you brushed your fingers over the shimmering stone, allowing a tear to travel down your face. Bringing your hand up to my mouth, you lips trembled when you cried, "Yes."


	11. Chapter 11

The months after you said yes, passed by in a whirlwind of decisions; setting the date, finding the perfect place, flowers, music, the perfect food. You shined through it all, though. You never complained, not even when your mother would call at six in the morning after having a dream about your dress. Sighing, you listened to her crying on the other end about you getting married in a red taffeta dress. I didn't have a clue what taffeta was, or why it seemed to be such a big deal to her, but you smiled, reassuring her that you wouldn't be making that choice.

However, I didn't really care about any of that stuff. All I wanted was to slip your wedding band onto your finger and vow to be the best husband I could be, the man you deserved to have. I'd like to think I'd been that man for you, baby.

I stood at the front of the church, with Emmett and Jasper behind me. When I asked you if you thought they'd stand up with me, you laughed and said, "Edward, when are you going to see that you're part of a family now?"

I did see, but fear of losing everyone made me question more than I should have.  
Looking back, I saw that I let fear hold me back.

My body trembled as I waited, watching Alice come down the isle, followed by Rosalie. I hadn't had the chance to get to know them the way I should have, but based on the joyful smiles on their faces, I knew they were happy for you and me, for us.

The music shifted, and, suddenly, there you were, standing at the back of the church with your hand wrapped around your father's arm. You looked like an angel, floating from the heavens. The white satin gown you picked molded itself around your body, your long dark hair pulled out of your face, but hung down your back. Every time I saw you, baby, your beauty took my breath away.

Lifting your eyes to mine, you began your journey down to me. With each step you took, the slower time seemed to spin. My heart beat wildly, tears pricked the corners of my eyes. For just a moment, warmth wrapped around me, and I felt my parents standing beside me. I grieved for them, but rejoiced in you.

Standing before God and everyone, I made my vows to you, promising to love, honor, and obey. To cherish you in sickness and in health, good times as well as the bad. I promised to be the man you deserved, the kind that would never take you for granted, always remembering how lucky I was to be binding my heart with yours.

Pressing my lips against yours in a searing kiss, our lives became tethered as one, forever.

**Thank you for the review:)**


	12. Chapter 12

Time passed faster than I expected. A day turned into a week, then a month, before I knew it we were celebrating our wedding anniversary. People say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, I disagreed. We spent a year laying in bed, holding each other. Some nights we laid in the moonlight laughing over nothing, others were spent wrapped in each others embrace. Every moment we spent together made the previous one seem incidental.

I agreed to give up my apartment, and move into yours. I didn't care where we lived so long as we were together. The apartment had been nothing more than a series of four walled rooms, you were my home. When I found myself having a bad day, I yearned to go to you, not to our apartment. Corny, I know, but true. You, and only you, made everything okay.

Slipping your hands into mine, you whispered, "Baby, come with me."

"Where?" I murmured, allowing you to pull me off the bed.

You smiled. "It's a surprise."

How could I refuse you?

Letting you pull on my hand, we left our apartment, heading up to the roof. Our spot. We spent almost as much time up here as we did in our apartment. Pushing open the door, you looked over your shoulder, giving me another coy smile. Your eyes shimmered with tears, something I didn't understand. But before I could question you, you turned to face me, wrapping your arms around me.

"Dance with me," you breathed, resting your head on my chest.

You never needed to ask.

Encircling you in my embrace, I held you tighter. There was no music, we let our heartbeats lead us. Our love choreographed the dance that described our life together.

"Edward, I love you," you murmured, sliding your hand up around my neck, threading your fingers into my hair.

"I love you, too," I whispered, tightening my hold around you. You trembled against me. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," you whimpered, tilting your head up to look me in the eye. "Everything's perfect."  
"Then why are you shaking?" I wondered, bringing my hand up to your face, brushing your tears away. "You're crying."

"I'm pregnant."

Gasping, I searched your eyes, expecting you say you were kidding, but I only saw the the truth. My lips trembled as the words slipped out between my lips, "Pregnant? We're having a baby?"

"Yes," you cried.

Burying my face in your hair, I wept. I was going to be a father.

**Thank you for all the reviews.**


	13. Chapter 13

Finding out that I was going to be a father...there really were no words to describe how happy you made me, baby, or scared. All I could think while watching your body change and grow was that I had to be the best father I could be, the kind of dad my own was. That yours was.

Sometimes, when you slept, I would lay in bed and watch you. The fuller your body got, the more incredibly beautiful you became. I always thought it was a myth when people claimed that pregnant women glowed, but it was true. With the passing months, your belly grew round. You began to carry yourself differently. You'd walk with your hand resting on your belly, a smile on your face. You were proud of your body. I was so in love with you.

It was during one of those late nights that you bolted up in bed, clutching at your stomach. "My water broke!" you wailed.

Having been preparing myself for this moment for the last nine months, I did what every man in my position seemed to do; I panicked. Scrambling out of bed, I grabbed the first piece of clothing my hand touched, not realizing until I had spent ten seconds trying to force my arms in that I had your shirt. Cursing under my breath, I tossed it onto the bed and grabbed mine.

"Edward," you murmured, cradling your belly and coming over to me. Placing your hand on my chest, you smiled. "I need you to calm down."

Covering your hand with mine, I leaned my forehead down on yours, letting every ounce of my vulnerability show. "You really need me?"

"I'll always need you." Always knowing just what I needed to hear, knowing how much I doubted myself, you took my hand and led the way.

I barely remember the drive to the hospital, or being lead up to your room. What I do remember is holding your hand while you bravely struggled through every contraction, trying hard to be strong.

After hours of breathing, panting, cursing, you tightened your grip on my hand, and brought our child into this world.

"Is the baby okay?" you begged me.

Taking our daughter in my arms, I turned back to you with tears falling freely. "Elizabeth is perfect," I cried, carrying her over to you. "She's absolutely perfect."

Placing her in your arms, watching you kiss her tiny, bald head, made me realize how lucky I was to have you, to have Elizabeth.

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	14. Chapter 14

I'd never really thought about how much Elizabeth would change me, until she was here at least. I mean, I knew the basics; midnight feedings and diaper changes, long nights and little sleep. What I wasn't prepared for were the feelings welling up inside of me. The pride that soared through me every time I looked at our daughter, or the level of protectiveness I felt the first time I had to leave you two alone. I stared at the phone in my office all day, waiting for you to call and beg me to come home. You never did, but the moment I walked through the door, you both were in my arms, where you belonged.

One night, about three weeks after Elizabeth was born, she started stirring in the maple antique cradle you insisted we didn't need, but I knew you wanted. Knowing you were exhausted, I slipped out of bed and scooped her into my arms. She nestled herself against my chest as I carried her through our apartment and into the living room.

I warmed her a bottle and changed her diaper, before settling on the couch with her. Once she had her fill of formula and I'd burped her, I stood up and started walking around the living room with her. She was so tiny, baby, just the smallest little thing. And, God, was she beautiful. She had the widest eyes, full of innocence. The world could be anything she wanted, anything we could make for her.

"How long have you been up with her?" You wrapped your arms around the two of us.

I smiled, like I always did when you were near me. "A couple hours," I murmured, kissing Elizabeth's head. "She still has that new baby smell."

"I hope she never loses it." Resting your head on my back, you brought your hand up to rub her back.

"Me either." My words came out sounding thick, laced with the emotions that soared through me. "Do you think my mom and dad would have loved her?"

"Oh, yeah," you assured me. "They'd adore her, Edward."

"Do you believe in heaven, Bella?" A tear slipped down my cheek, falling on Elizabeth's head.

"You know I do." I felt your lips curve upward against my back. "I believe they are watching over us, over her."

"I hope so," I whimpered. "I miss them, baby. I wish I could have seen them holding her, loving her."

"They are," you whispered, sliding your hand up to my chest, covering my heart. "They're in here, baby. We'll make sure she knows just how amazing they were, how they loved you so much."

"Do you promise?"

"I do, I promise." Bringing your hand up to my cheek, you wiped my tears away, adding, "Come back to bed."

Nodding, I followed you back into our bedroom, laying Elizabeth back in her cradle. Climbing into our bed, I wrapped my arms around you. A soft, airy sigh came from our daughter, and I smiled, drifting back to sleep.

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	15. Chapter 15

Sometime, and I'm not entirely sure when, time seemed to speed up. One moment, we were cradling our newborn daughter to our chest and in the next, we were celebrating her first birthday. Looking back, I remember the first time she rolled from her stomach to her back, when she sat up by herself, smiled, laughed, waved. The first time she reached for me, or leaned in to give me a sloppy kiss. Most people would have cringed from the slobbery kisses, but I didn't mind them. How could I when they came from my baby girl?

The first night that Elizabeth slept through the night, I remember waking up feeling panicked. I'd gotten so used to her little whimpers at three in the morning, that not hearing her caused my mind to be flooded with worst-case scenarios. My imagination ran wild that's for sure.

Scrambling out of bed, I rushed into her bedroom, finding her sitting up in her crib, gnawing on the ear of her favorite bunny. Scooping her up out of bed, I let out a sigh of relief, pressing my lips to her dark hair. She cooed, reaching up with her tiny fingers and patting my face. The sweetest sound to ever hit my ears.

"Feel better?" you asked.

Sheepishly, I looked back at you. "Yes," I admitted, feeling foolish for overreacting.

"Me too," you giggled, pushing off the door frame and coming over to us. "You just beat me in here."

"I'm just so used to hearing her," I mumbled, making my confession.

"I know, baby," you murmured, stroking my cheek.

That was only the beginning of my worries, though. Before long, Elizabeth was crawling. I spent one weekend baby proofing our apartment, trying to make it as safe as I could. Still, she ended up hurting herself when she bumped her head on the coffee table. I wanted to get rid of the thing, but you insisted that I was overreacting. You were right as always.

At eight months old, she pulled herself up to stand at the edge of the very same table. Before I really thought about what I was doing, I'd tucked her against my chest, feeling my heart race. She was growing up too fast, but here we sat a year after she burst into our lives, watching her smear chocolate cake all over her face. While I knew we still had many years ahead of us, I mourned the loss of our first year with her. We'd never get that time back. Instead, we'd live them again through our memories.

That night, after we'd gotten her to bed, and the last of our family had left, I found you standing in the kitchen, washing a handful of the dishes. Slipping behind you, I wrapped my arms around your waist, pressing my lips to the side of your neck.

You turned in my arms, raising an eyebrow at me. "What was that for?"

"Just because." I shrugged my shoulders, before leaning my forehead against yours. "Come to bed."

"I'm almost done," you whispered.

"They can wait," I insisted, sliding my hands into yours. "Come to bed."

Nodding wordlessly, you allowed me to me led you into our bedroom. Keeping my eyes on yours, I stripped off your clothes, followed by mine. Taking my time, I showed you how much I loved you, needed you, wanted you. For at least one more night, everything in our lives was perfect.

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	16. Chapter 16

Like all good things, the bottom was bound to fall out on us. One moment, we were watching Elizabeth dancing in front of the television, and the next, you were crumbled in my arms, holding on to me like I was your hope. All it took was one phone call. Just one.

Laughing, you climbed off the couch, rushing into the kitchen to grab the phone. I slid onto the floor, taking Elizabeth by the hands. Her dark curls bounced, her eyes were lit up brightly. Barely fifteen months old, she'd only really began to speak, but I still found myself enchanted by the little sounds she made.

"NO!" you screamed, startling both of us. Scooping Elizabeth into my arms and rushing into the kitchen, I found you on your knees, clutching the phone to your chest. Looking up at me with fear radiating off of you, you cried out, "Please, no."

"Baby, what is it?" I fretted, dropping to the floor and pulling you to my chest. Elizabeth, not really understanding any better than me, reached out to you, patting away the tears falling down your face.

Covering her tiny hand with yours, you whispered, "My daddy...he's-he's..." Trailing off, you were unable to finish. You didn't need to. Knowing first hand how much you were hurting, I tightened my arm around you, shifting our daughter into your lap. Burying your face in her hair, you began to sob hysterically, causing her to fuss. She'd never seen you cry, baby. Neither had I.

Taking the phone from you, I listened while your brother struggling to explain what had happened. A massive heart attack. In one heartbeat, he was sitting in bed with your momma, reading some book she insisted he just had to read, and in the next, he was gone. Somehow managing to get you and Elizabeth in the car, I held your hand while driving us to the hospital. You never uttered a word, but your grip never weakened. This time, you needed me.

Walking into the hospital, we found Carlisle sitting with your mother, one arm wrapped around her shoulder. Shifting their eyes over to us, I knew. We were too late. Crumbling into my arms, you screamed, "NO! Please, daddy, no!"

Dropping to my knees with you and Elizabeth in my arms, I tried to hold you together, baby, but I couldn't. You...you, my love, were broken.

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	17. Chapter 17

I wanted to make everything better for you, but nothing I did seemed to help. You cried yourself to sleep, begging for me to bring him back. I couldn't. No matter how much I wanted to bring your daddy back to you, baby, I was helpless. Instead, I did what I could by holding you in my arms, listening to you breathe heavily.

I did what I could by listening to you tell me about how he taught you how to make Mickey Mouse pancakes early one Sunday morning after you'd had a nightmare. Or how he would get up every morning and watch cartoons with you, insisting that it was his job to be there with you. It wasn't his job, baby, it was his privilege. He loved you so much.

As the sun broke through the dark, grizzly gray clouds, Elizabeth's soft cries floated through our baby monitor. Leaving you in bed, I hurried into her, wanting you to rest. Snuggling her to my chest, I carried her into the kitchen, making her some oatmeal and pouring her a sippy cup with milk. Settling her in her highchair, I began to feed her. It was in those few moments that I thought about how much Elizabeth would be losing with the passing of your father.

She'd never get the chance to laugh with him again. Never hear him sing to her when he thought nobody else was listening. We all heard, but choose not to draw attention to him. She'd never get to sit at the end of the dock with him, waiting for her fishing line to tug from a bite. Without the great Charlie Swan, Elizabeth would never know the love of a grandfather. My heart broke for my daughter.


	18. Chapter 18

With my arms wrapped around you, we stood in the misty rain, listening to Pastor Stevens talking about the kind of man your father was. Words like caring, honest, giving, and respected were used. While I agreed with each of those words, none of them described Charlie Swan to me.

For me, he'd always be the man who patted me on the shoulder the first time I met him, gesturing to his gun cabinet. "Got me more than a dozen weapons in there." He meant it to intimidate me, but all I saw was a father who loved his daughter.

I knew him as the man who sat staring at me the night I asked his blessing to marry you. Even though I knew it was hard for him, he nodded, blinking several times. "Take care of her, son, she's special." It'd been many years since anyone had referred to me as their son. That one word spoke more than anything else he had ever said to me.

We stood back while Carlisle took his time to say goodbye. Holding your mother up, he supported her while she grieved over the man who owned her heart. Much like you owned mine. They had the kind of love that lasted a lifetime. Our friends stood behind us, each of them offering a caring hand and whispers of strength. None of them understood the feeling of hopelessness you felt in this moment, but they tried. For that, I'd always know that we were loved by them.

Pulling yourself out of my arms, you stepped over to the black casket, running your hands along the top. A soft whimper slipped from your lips. "I'm gonna miss you, Daddy," you cried. "I love you so much."

Laying your white lily on top, you turned, falling into my arms, letting your tears soak into my white dress shirt. Holding you tight, I pressed my lips against your head, whispering, "I'll keep my promise, Charlie. Let my parents know that I'm okay and that I miss them."

Nestling you into my embrace, I led you toward the car, vowing to keep my word to that man I'd come to love like a father.

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	19. Chapter 19

It took time, but eventually, you started to come back to me. You smiled more, even laughed a few times. Mostly, when you were playing with Elizabeth. I'd stand in the doorway to the living room, watching you read to her, singing under your breath, or playing patty-cake for the hundredth time in an hour. You never lost your patience with her, always greeting her with compassion.

Before I knew it, Elizabeth was celebrating her second birthday, then her third. In a heartbeat, she went from being my baby, to this little person with thoughts and ideas. Her imagination astounded me. With every breath she took, she grew into this amazing little creature set out to conquer the world. Of course, her world consisted of preschool.

"I don't think she's ready," you fretted, trailing your fingers down my chest. The clock on the nightstand read just after two in the morning, but we were both wide awake. The fact that in just a handful of hours we'd be sending our child off to her first day of school, weighed heavily on both of us.

"She's ready," I murmured, trying to convince myself as much as you. "She's so excited. She packed her backpack all by herself, picked out her own clothes. She's ready, baby."

"She's so little," you whispered. "What if the other kids are mean to her?"

"They won't be, but if they are, we'll handle it."

"What if nobody wants to play with her?"

Smiling, I kissed you. "They'll play with her, but if not, we'll handle it."

Standing just outside of Elizabeth's classroom, listening to her introduce herself to everyone, "Hello, I'm Elizabeth Masen." You clung onto me like I was your life-preserver. Didn't you understand that you were mine?

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	20. Chapter 20

"Don't let go, Daddy," Elizabeth squealed.

Laughing, I shook my head, tightening my grip on the back of her pink bicycle seat and metal handle bars. "I won't, sweetheart, I promise."

"I'm scared," she cried.

"Don't be scared, honey," you cooed from behind your video camera. "Daddy isn't going to let anything happen to you."

"Do you promise, Mommy?" she whimpered, shifting her dark brown eyes up to yours.

"Trust Daddy to hold on, baby girl," you replied, lifting your gaze to mine.

With a nod of her tiny head, Elizabeth gave me the go ahead. Running along side of her, I held onto her bike while she pedaled as fast as her little legs could go. Laughing, her dark, curly hair flew behind her. Her sweet giggles were the best sounds in the world, the sounds of the Angel's singing from the heavens.

"Let go, Daddy," she yelled. I didn't want to let her go, I needed to keep holding on. "Now, Daddy, let go!"

Somehow, I managed to release her, stumbling a few steps as I watched her riding her bicycle without me. A smile drifted over my lips and tears filled my eyes. In a heartbeat, she went from begging me not to let go, to soaring on her own.

"She's pretty amazing, isn't she?" You slipped your arms around my waist, resting your head against my arm. Elizabeth stopped at the end of the block, turning back to look at us with a look of pride pouring off of her.

"Yeah, baby, she is," I agreed.

Climbing off her bike, Elizabeth walked her bike back over to us, a bounce in every step she took. "Did you see me, Daddy? I did it all by myself."

Nodding, I knelt down in front of her. "You did good, sweetheart. You want to go again?"

"Yeah, but only hold on for a minute, Daddy. I've got this."

"Okay," I murmured, knowing that whether or not my hands were on her bike or not, I'd always be holding onto my little girl. Always.

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	21. Chapter 21

One of my favorite memories happened about three months after Elizabeth started Kindergarten. With her being in school full time, you'd decided you wanted to go back to school, finally obtaining your graduate degree. I never told you, but I'd never been more proud of you than I was in that moment. You wanted the world, baby.

You were taking a night class, leaving me and Elizabeth to fend for ourselves. Normally, we'd veg out in front of the television, eating pizza, and watching her favorite Strawberry Shortcake DVD. However, Elizabeth had woken up that morning with a fever, and spent most of the day curled up on the couch. You were reluctant to leave her that night, but I smiled, pulling you into my arms. "Baby, we'll be fine," I whispered, brushing my lips against your outer ear. "Go to class, just be careful."

Tucking your face into the side of my neck, you sighed, "I will. Take care of her."

"I promise," I murmured.

After checking on Elizabeth one more time, you left. Changing into a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tee shirt, I refreshed her Sprite and headed into the living room. Snuggled under her pink fleece throw, she whimpered and looked over at me. I'd never seen her so lost. My heart broke. Kneeling down in front of her, I brushed her dark hair out of her face, her fevered skin warming my fingers.

"Baby girl, take a sip of your Sprite," I urged. Turning away from me, Elizabeth whined. Slipping my arm under her body, I lifted her up, placing the pink twisty straw at her lips. "Just one sip, sweetheart."

Her lips wrapped around the tip of the straw, and she managed to draw in a small bit. Placing the cup back onto the table, I scooped her into my arms, laying on the couch with her nestled against my chest. Her tiny hand came up, clenching around the collar of my shirt. "Daddy, I don't feel so good," she cried, her tears burning through my shirt.

"I know, baby girl," I cooed, rubbing her back.

Tightening my arms around her, Elizabeth cried herself to sleep, clutching onto me. After about an hour, she mumbled, "No, Nana, daddy's holding me."

My breath caught in my chest. The only person we referred to as Nana was my mother.

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	22. Chapter 22

"Daddy! Daddy!' screamed Elizabeth, running down the hallway and into my office. Sliding along the hardwood floors, she fell into my lap, giggling her head off. "Guess what?"

Placing my finger against my lip, I pretended to think about it. Nearly vibrating with excitement, Elizabeth turned in my arms, dangling a leg on either side of me. Placing her hands on my cheeks, she squeezed my face, causing my lips to pulse out. Throwing her head back in hysterics, she squealed. "You're silly, Daddy."

"I'm not silly," came my muffled response. Leaning in and attacking her neck with my kisses, I laughed when she giggled for me to stop. "Now, what are you so excited about?"

"It's snowing!" she squealed, jumping out off my lap. Pulling the shade over the window up, she smiled bigger, pointing the fat, wet snow falling from the heavens. "Can we go outside and play?"

Nodding, I spun my chair around. "Hurry, go get your coat and gloves."

Moving faster than I'd ever seen her, she rushed toward her bedroom, cheering. How I wish I could bottle her energy.

Heading into mine and Bella's room, I pulled my favorite sweatshirt out of the closest, slipping it on over my tee shirt. Adding my snow boots, I walked down the hallway to the living room, finding Elizabeth sitting on the couch with her pink and purple striped boots in front of her. With a look of concentration on her face, she managed to get both of her feet inside, taking the extra time to tuck her jeans into them.

"You ready, doodlebug?" Grabbing her coat from the hall closet, I held it up for her to put it on. Bouncing over to me, she slipped her arms in, holding still so I could zip it up. Helping her get her fingers into the right holes, I put her hat and scarf on before getting my own stuff. Following her out in the the backyard, she squealed once again, jumping off the back porch. Turning her face up to the sky, she closed her eyes and let the snow flakes sprinkle her skin.

"She's excited," you murmured, slipping your arm into mine and resting your head on my shoulder.

"I can tell," I chuckled, wrapping my arm around waist.

"I wonder," you whispered, lifting your eyes to mine.

"What?" I smiled, waiting for you to continue.

"I wonder if her baby brother or sister will love the snow, too." My jaw dropped as I turned to face you. My chin trembled, but I couldn't get the worlds to tumble between my lips. Raising your hand to my cheek, you brushed away my tears. "I'm happy, too."

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	23. Chapter 23

I'll be the first to admit that I was afraid of how Elizabeth would take to having a new baby in the house. She'd spent five years as only child, and didn't often like to share, but, like she always did, she surprised me. More than once, I'd come home to find her sitting on the floor in front of you, whispering about all the plans she had for him, or her. She didn't understand how the baby wouldn't be doing much beyond sleeping at first.

Shaking her head, she'd shrug her shoulders. "You'll see, Daddy, the baby will know me when it gets here."

Somehow, I knew the baby would. Maybe, it was the way he or she only kicked for her, earning a tinkling little giggle from her.

Of course, there were bittersweet moments, too. You missed Charlie. Sometimes, when you thought I wasn't watching, I saw you wiping your tears off your cheek. The few times, I asked you, you'd make up some excuse like the book you were reading made you cry, or you saw a silly commercial. I knew you better than that, baby. Besides, I missed him, too.

In the wee hours of the morning, you reached over and shook my shoulder. "Baby," you murmured. Groaning, I rolled onto my side, placing my hand over your belly. Giggling, you shook my shoulder again. "Edward."

"What?" I muttered, groggily.

"It's time," you whispered.

Just like with Elizabeth, it took all of two heartbeats for me to be out of the bed, struggling to put on my clothes. You, being calm and collected, climbed out of bed, one hand holding onto your belly and got dressed. Gathering our luggage, I lifted Elizabeth out of her bed, and loaded both of you in the car. The moment she'd been waiting for had finally come.

Alice and Jasper met us at the hospital, pulling our daughter out of my arms. She wailed that she wanted to come with us, but for now, you needed all of my attention, and I desperately needed to be with you.

After hours of cursing through contractions, begging me to make them stop, you started pushing. Repeating over and over how much I loved you, promising to always love you, I held your hand to my chest while you brought my son into this world.

Relieving Alice and Jasper of Elizabeth, I carried her into your room and with tears in my eyes, introduced her to her baby brother, Charles Edward Masen. Just like she said he would, he stopped crying at the sound of her voice. He knew his big sister.

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	24. Chapter 24

When I was six years old, my father left town on business. I hadn't taken to him being gone very well, and spent the majority of the days prior to his departure sulking in my bedroom. Before he left, he came to me and sat on the end of my bed. Pulling a calender out from behind his back, he showed me how he would be gone for a total of seven days and that when I got to the day with the circle around it, he would be home.

Everyday, I climbed out of my bed and the first thing I did was cross out one of the days. My mom did her best to keep me entertained, taking me to the zoo and the science museum. But while I loved my mother, it wasn't the same as having my dad home every night. I missed him so much.

Finally, the last day came and I climbed out of bed, running down the hallway to my parents' bedroom. Throwing open the door, I expected to find my mom and dad in bed, but they weren't there and the bed was empty. Running downstairs, I searched in the kitchen first, then the living room, not finding them in either place.

I began to cry.

I threw myself on the couch, clutching the awful mustard yellow throw pillow my mother insisted went with everything to my chest. It wasn't until I felt a pair of strong arms lift me off the couch, nestling me against his chest that I realized my father was actually home.

"Shush now, Edward," my father soothed. "I promised you that I'd be home."

"But I couldn't find you," I whimpered.

Smiling, he sat me on his lap, brushing away the tears sprinkling down my face. "I give you my word, son, I'll always be right here, just for you."

After my parents died, I thought back to that moment a lot. While in the moment, my father had meant it in the literal sense, in his death I know that he'd always be with me. I saw him in the wide eyes of my own son, the way he looked at me to teach him and lead him through the world. I saw him in my daughter, whose fire for life shined through her.

I felt him hugging me in the middle of the night while I rocked Charlie through one colic filled night after another. I knew the pride he felt when I watched Elizabeth laying on the floor next to her baby brother, whispering stories of dragons and dinosaurs. Watching you love our children, love me, I knew why he looked at my mother like she was the only women in the room. To him, she was.

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	25. Chapter 25

I don't know where time went, baby. It seemed like in the blink of an eye our children were grown, making real decisions, thinking for themselves. Elizabeth was talking about colleges, majors, and life plans. Often, I found myself watching her, trying to imagine the little brown haired girl who'd begged me not to let go. She didn't need me to hold onto her anymore. She was ready to take on the world, and I was proud to be her father.

Charlie was barely into his teens, but I saw so much of myself in his eyes. Cautious and careful with his heart, he sometimes struggled to put himself out there. I knew he was scared of being rejected, but people were attracted to him because of the man he was turning into. More than once, people had commented on what a fine young man he was. Smiling and nodding my head, I'd agree with them, knowing they were right, but I knew he struggled almost the most out of our children.

Losing you crushed him, baby. It crushed me, too.

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	26. Chapter 26

I'd thought back to that day a lot over the years. What I would have done differently. The things I wouldn't have changed. Of course, my biggest regret was not to be able to hold you every moment.

You were tired. At first, we thought your fatigue had to do with two young children, a full time career. Slowly over time, you slept more, unable to get enough rest. I begged you to do to the doctor, but you smiled, shrugging your shoulders. "I'm fine," you'd say. "I just need to lay down a few more minutes."

I should have been more insistent. I know that now.

Knowing you were tired, I let you sleep in, taking Elizabeth and Charlie to school. When I came home, I expected to find you in bed, curled up under the blankets. You weren't. Searching through our house, I found you laying on the floor in the bathroom, barely breathing.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting next to your bed in the emergency room, watching you sleep, waiting for anything that would tell me what the fuck was going on. Maybe I already knew and just didn't want to admit it to myself. I don't know. How do you admit that your life is sick?

After hours of watching and waiting, you finally opened your eyes, turning to look at me. "Where am I?" You voice was weak, your eyes barely opening.

"In the hospital," I murmured, bringing my hand up to her cheek. "You scared the shit of me."

"What happened?" You asked, struggling to get the two words out.

Before I could answer, the door opened and your doctor came in. Looking grim, he sighed and pulled a chair up to the other side of the bed. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Sitting there staring at him, I barely heard the word "Heart condition" and "Transplant." All I could think about was that you were dying, and I needed you.

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	27. Chapter 27

I don't know what was harder; watching you slowly slip away or watching our children struggling to understand why Mommy couldn't play with them anymore.

Elizabeth got angry. She threw things at the wall. She yelled and screamed, cursing that she hated you. She didn't. She was barely a teenager. She needed you.

Charlie stopped talking. Not completely, but enough that I knew he struggled. We'd ask him how school went and he'd shrug his shoulders and say, "Fine."

It wasn't fine. He stopped trying. His teachers told me he wouldn't do his work. Of course he wouldn't. His mother was dying in front of him. He had more important things to worry about. Like how he was ever going to be okay again. He wouldn't be. At least not like he was before.

I tried, baby, I really tried. But how could I explain any of this to them when I was reeling inside?

Outside our small bubble life moved on. We were left behind.

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	28. Chapter 28

"Edward," you whispered, hoarsely. You reached for me, the effort to even lift your hand was too much for you. I scrambled from the chair I'd been curled up in, covering your hand with mine. I was careful not to squeeze, knowing how weak you were right now.

"I'm here, baby," I whispered, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. Your head fell to the side, your eyes opening and a smile spreading over your face. For a moment, you were my Bella again.

"Remember when we danced on the roof?" A tear slipped down your face.

I leaned in kissing it away. "Yes, baby, I do."

"I wish we could dance again," you cried, weaving your free hand into my hair. "I love you. I always have."

"I love you, too," I whimpered. "Baby, keep fighting, okay? You can't give up. Not on me."

"I'm so tired," you whispered, closing your eyes. "I wish we could dance...just one more time."

Climbing onto the bed next to you, I wrapped my arms around you. Holding you while you drifted back to sleep, I cried, praying for a miracle that would keep you here with me where you belong.

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	29. Chapter 29

I was a fool.

Plain and simple.

Maybe not so plain and simple.

I'd put my faith in the modern medicine to save you, my beautiful Bella, but everyday you got weaker. You slept nearly all the time, your body unable to keep up with the demands of your damaged heart. I'd give you mine in a heartbeat if I could.

I couldn't.

I wasn't a match.

Whatever.

I prayed for healing hands to make you better. They didn't work.

In private, I cursed and screamed. Letting the hot water wash away my tears. Hoping they'd eventually stop falling. They never would—I knew this—my heart would weep for you until the end of time.

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	30. Chapter 30

A single heartbeat.

That's all it took to tear my world apart, shattering any bit of hope I had left.

One moment, you and I were dancing on a rooftop, you whispering in my ear about babies and forever. We had plans to travel when the kids grew up and left home. We hoped to be able to see them become adults.

I did.

You didn't.

Elizabeth threw herself on your body, begging you to come back to her. She was a young girl, in desperate need for your guidance through life.

Charlie sat in my lap, arms wrapped around my neck, face pressed into my shirt. His muffled tears burned into my heart.

A part of me died with you today.

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	31. Chapter 31

"Edward." I looked back at the door, finding Carlisle standing with one hand against the door frame. His normally kept appearance had been replaced by dark circles, and heavy bags. "It's time."

Unable to get the words out, I nodded my head and stood up. Smoothing down the front of my shirt, I buttoned my black jacket, following him into the front room.

I refused to call it a living room anymore.

It wasn't.

I wasn't.

You weren't.

Hushed whispers followed me as I walked over to our children. Holding my hands out to them, I tucked them into my sides, leaning on them more than I should. They leaned into me, arms wrapping around my waist.

They needed me.

They needed you.

I needed you.

You weren't here.

The walk to the car felt like it took years. The drive, even longer. Every second that ticked by without you in my arms felt like an eternity. How was I supposed to get through the rest of my life without you when I could barely get through one moment?

The director of the funeral home parked in front of the church and opened the back door for us. My legs felt like lead weights were hanging onto them as I climbed out. With our babies next to me, we headed inside, the rest of our family following.

We sat in the front pew. Carlisle held your mom while she wept. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice joined them, all of them with blank expressions on their faces. They didn't know how to feel. They loved you, too. Not nearly as much as me.

After what felt like a millisecond, it was time to leave. Emmett, Jasper, and a few guys from work carried you out. We followed, our hearts breaking with every step we took. They slid you into the back of a black hearse. Our movements felt robotic as we climbed back into the car and followed you. We gathered under a large tent and said a few prayers before everyone started whispering about what a beautiful service it was, how much you'd be missed.

The sun shined.

The birds sang.

I lied when I told you goodbye.

I missed you.

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	32. Chapter 32

They say the first Christmas after your world falls apart is the hardest.

It's true.

I tried to make sure everything was just how you would have done it. The tree was up by Thanksgiving. The presents—thanks to Alice and Rose—had been wrapped and put under the tree. Though, when Christmas Eve came, nothing felt right.

The kids barely looked at the gifts they received. I couldn't blame them. You always knew just what to get them, how to make each present unique to to them. We may not have had much to give them, but we always had love.

Elizabeth refused to talk about you. She spent a lot of time in her room,listening to music. I've been thinking that maybe I need to sign her up for piano lessons, or something. She probably wouldn't go anyway. She's angry.

So am I.

Charlie talks about you nonstop. He's full of questions on who you are...I mean, were. I think a part of him is desperately holding onto whatever part of you that he could. He's afraid he'll forget you. I wouldn't let him. No matter how many nights we sat curled up watching home video's of us together, or flipping through photo albums, I'd make sure he knows who you are, baby.

But it's when they're tucked into bed, sleeping away their grief, I feel your loss the most. I go into our room, staring at your clothes that still hang in our closet, the ones still in our dresser. I crawl into our bed, hugging your pillow to my chest. If I close my eyes, I can almost pretend that I'm still holding you.

Christmas has never been the same.

I still miss you.

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	33. Chapter 33

A year. One, long, horrible year.

They told me it would get easier over time, that I'd stop expecting to see you laying in bed with ever morning. That I'd stop reaching for you every night.

Whoever thought that was full of shit.

I never got easier. Only harder. The kids needed me to be strong for them, to make it easier. I think they saw right through me, baby.

Alice and Rose tried to tell me it was time to pack up your belongings, but I can't do it. It's like trying to say goodbye to you all over again, I just can't. They tell me that I'm wallowing away, drowning in my grief. I am—I know that—but I can't let you go. They don't understand.

You are my life, even in death.

I miss you.

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	34. Chapter 34

Elizabeth started high school today. I sat across from her at the breakfast table, watching her fiddle with her eggs. She looked like you more and more everyday. Even down to that adorable worry line that stretched across her forehead when she was nervous.

Reaching over, I covered her hand with mine. "Sweetheart, it's going to be okay."

"It's a new school," she murmured, lifting her eyes up to me. "What if they don't like me?

"They will," I tried to reassure her, but inside, I worried about the same thing. She'd changed so much after you left us. Every once in a while, I'd see a spark of the Elizabeth I knew, but she still ached for you.

"Just forget it, Dad, you don't understand." She pulled her hand out from under mine, leaving me sitting at the table by myself.

Letting her walk out of the room, I stifled the urge to plead with her to come back. I understood all too well. Running my fingers through my hair, I sighed. You would have known just want to say to relieve her fears. She needed you.

So did I.

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	35. Chapter 35

"Dad, I look stupid," Charlie grumbled, pulling at the collar of his shirt. "Why do I have to wear this stupid thing?"

"Because Esme will whip your Uncle if she sees you wearing a t-shirt. Deal with it," I explained, patting him on the back.

"It's just a stupid wedding," he muttered, walking out of the groom's room. Laughing, I shook my head. He had a point. I followed after him, taking my place behind your brother. Wringing his hands together, he looked like he was fixing to puke. I remember feeling like that.

The doors to the back opened and the organist began to play the traditional wedding song. Everyone turned back, watching Esme and her father as they slowly made their way down the idea.

"She looks beautiful," Carlisle murmured, looking over his shoulder at me. His nerves were gone, replaced by pure happiness. "Bella would have loved Esme, don't you think?"

I nodded, fighting the tears that sprung up in my eyes.

You would have adored her, because she made Carlisle happy. He looked at her, like I looked at you.

I miss you more than usual today.

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	36. Chapter 36

They say the older you get, the faster time goes by. There may be a bit of truth in that thought; but for me, everyday without you dragged on like an eternity. The kids grew up, moved on with their lives. Don't get me wrong, I still saw them both several times a week, but it wasn't the same.

Elizabeth, my sweet little girl, turned out to be the most incredible woman. She met a man named Riley in her senior year of college. When she brought him home to met me, I wanted to hate him immediately, but I saw it. The way he looked at her. I knew that look, baby. It was the same way I looked at you. They were married a year later. Two years after that little Mason was born. He has your eyes, your smile. You'd have loved him, love. You would have spoiled him rotten, but you'd have done it out of love.

Charlie struggled more than Elizabeth did when trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. He put off going to school for a year, hoping that maybe he'd fine something that captured his heart. It took a while, but he finally found his niche. He joined the Army. He loved it. I was scared for him. I can admit that, but he needed to find himself and the Army provided him with that opportunity.

He met his life there. Maggie's a fiery little redhead with snarky mouth and quick wit. She keeps him on his toes, makes him smile and laugh. They were blesses with a little girl a few month ago.

Isabella.

They named her after you.

I long to be with you again.

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	37. Chapter 37

The kids told me it was time for me to move on, to start dating again. I just shake my head. Elizabeth insists that you'd want me to move on with my life. That you wouldn't want me to be alone. Maybe you wouldn't, but goddamn it, I can't do it, baby. You're it for me. I knew it from the moment I set eyes on you. You owned my heart with a smile and laugh.

I don't know. I'm so tired right now. Every day gets harder. This house is so quiet; yet the silence is deafening. I dream about you every night. You're in my arms, your breath is on my cheek, your lips seek out mine.

Where are you, baby? Don't you see how much I need you?

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	38. Chapter 38

I'm so tired right now.

Some days, I struggle to find the will to get out of bed. This house is so quiet; yet the silence is deafening. Elizabeth's been pressing for me to move in with her and Riley. I can't, though she doesn't understand. This house was our home.

There were too many nights spent making love in the moonlight, wishes on the stars. Too many tickle wars on the sofa, and rock, paper, scissor matches over who had to wash the dishes. The memories invaded me at every turn.

I could feel your arms wrap around me, you whispering in my ear, "Soon, my love, soon."

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	39. Chapter 39

I've been dreaming of you, baby. You're always too far away from me, but I know you're there. I can hear you whispering my name. Telling me it's nearly time.

I'm so ready to be back in your arms, where I belong.

The noise around me is deafening. Lots of beeping, doors opening and closing. I can't see anyone, but I feel them holding my hands.

Their tears fall onto my skin.

I'm cold.

All the time.

Baby, where are you?

I need you to lead me on this journey.

My eyes fluttered to a close. I miss you.

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	40. Chapter 40

It was like falling asleep.

One moment, I was laying in a cold hospital bed, machine beeping next to me, and the next, I was standing in the middle of heaven. At least, my idea of heaven.

Looking around, I searched for you. I knew you were close. I could feel you.

"Hey," you murmured. I spun on my heel, finding you standing twenty feet away. You looked just like I remembered. It was almost like sixty years hadn't passed at all. "It's about time you got here."

"Sorry," I laughed, closing the distance between us. Encasing you in my arms, I nestled my face in your neck, inhaling the sweetest scent I'd ever smelled. "God, baby, I missed you."

"I know, but I was there in every breath you took, every tear you shed. I held you when you wept."

"I love you," I murmured, capturing your lips with mine.

"I love you, too," you whispered. "I'll love you till the end of time."

**Thank you for all the reviews over this little story. There tough times, but life is often full of tough times. And see, they got their HEA, even if they had to wait a while.**


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